A Day With Dulcie.

Will went off at 7.15 am this morning for his first day in his new job.Dulcie and I were home alone.We had a leisurely breakfast and pottered for a bit; I checked my emails, Dulcie had a smoke, before getting to work.Feeling a bit guilty that I am not contributing to our living expenses and having a serious addiction to Pepsi Max and coleslaw I decided that it would be a good idea while we are around to get at those high kitchen shelves that Dulcie cannot reach. I passed the knick-knacks down to her and she washed them while I wiped the shelves. Just like the aussie workmen in their high visibility green waistcoats, we had a few sit down drink (fag) breaks but were finished by about 11.00.It was very quiet. Not many cars passed by and strangely no light aircraft or helicopters passed over. At one point the blue faced honey eater flew onto the railings of the back steps and cheekily peered in at us. I went down to check the rain gauge and collect the junk mail from the post box. The rain gauge read 9mm. It seemed a lot to me but we worked out that Will had not emptied it the other day when he checked and there was 7mm then, so there must have been 2mm overnight. Never has my life been so meteorological! We get constant temperature updates courtesy of the radio or weather channel.We sat and quietly flicked through the junk mail and commented on the price of meat. Pepsi Max was on special at the Super IGA! I made a mental note of that.At 12.00pm exactly we got our lunch. Like a precision team we laid out sliced corned meat, bread, butter, lettuce, beetroot, sliced tomato and coleslaw...of course, then sat down to make our sandwiches. Dulcie had to get up because we had forgotten the pickle! How could we forget the pickle? We never forget the pickle!We munched silently and then Dulcie remarked how quiet it was. ‘Yes’ I said.‘Not many cars about’ she said ‘and we don’t get many visitors’. ‘No’ I said.As if to prove her wrong we heard footsteps on the steps outside and Joanne, the angel from next door appeared at the screen door. She brought some magazines and chatted for awhile and asked if Dulcie needed anything before heading off.Dulcie looked at the magazines.She read aloud from the front of one;‘This beautiful 5 year old girl used to be a boy!’ She looked up in disbelief and said,‘Good God! I have to read that!’She read for a bit and then shook her head and said ‘I just don’t understand it.’I didn’t feel much like getting into a discussion about infant transgenderism. It was 27 degrees! so I just crept over to the sink to wash up. She was up in flash to knock me away!‘Clear off! I’ll do that!’ she said.When it was done she went and sat on the end of the sofa near the open door to wait for the postman.I was beginning to get a feel for her daily routine.You can hear the ‘Postie’ coming as he rides a motorbike. He went up the other side of the street and we sat quietly and waited to hear him coming back down our side. As approached she leaned forward and I got up and peered out of the door next to her. He drove right past! I cannot tell you the disappointment of that moment. It was pure rejection!It was all becoming a little too much so I decided to go walkabout!I put my cap on and rubbed some sun cream on a few vulnerable bits and headed out into the blazing sun. I felt quite brave without my David Gulpilil (Will) but Heck! I was Jenny Agutter and British through and through! It’s good to get to know your neighbourhood and get some exercise at the same time. I chose the wilds of the Archerfield Industrial Estate! I could tell they expect very few pedestrians to pass that way as they had let the trees grow across the footpath. I passed the Airport Cafe and noticed an amusing statue outside. It looked like a typical old wild west prospector complete with floppy hat and long white beard. It made me chuckle as it looked so out of place. I was just thinking how it felt a bit like looking at those pictures where the eyes follow you around the room when I suddenly realised it wasn’t a statue at all and it was actually following me with its eyes! Yikes! I quickly looked away as I had been staring at him for far longer than was comfortable. I hurried past.

A view of the city of Brisbane looking across Archerfield Airport.

The ‘Postie’ pulled into an industrial unit just ahead of me. I fought the urge to give him the finger. I was still not over the feeling of rejection!I checked behind me. Good! The prospector was not coming after me.I heard a raucous call in a bush nearby and peered in. It was a blue faced honey eater! Was it stalking me? They might be beautiful to look at but they can’t sing for macadamia nuts!All the local wildlife seemed to be wearing high visibility green waistcoats. I felt quite out of place and wished I’d been the person who had invented them.If a King Brown doesn’t get me then a monster truck probably will. They sneak up on you and then ROAR like a dragon as they pass by. Terrifying!

A bit over the top eh?

I only passed one other person wandering aimlessly but she looked like she had slipped out unseen from a care home.I tell a lie. I did see someone else, another man walking into another snack bar. He was a very well built chap who had the biggest belly overhanging his tiny blue shorts. Heck! Not even Tom Cruise would have been able to negotiate that overhang in Mission Impossible 5, had he been that way inclined...(which my lawyer points out that I must say clearly, he is not).It made me speed up a bit to burn extra calories.I was just starting to feel a bit lost and was considering turning back when I recognised where I was and so kept on going. There was a helicopter flying backwards and forwards ahead over some bush land. I wondered if they were searching for someone who had slipped out unseen from a care home.

International Care Home Search and Rescue!

I started to feel the heat and my throat was dry. I didn't need any green frog to tell me the weather. I am a meteorological expert now and I could tell it was hot! I had forgotten to bring water with me. It could have been a fatal mistake but luckily as I was searching for a billabong I found Celtis St and crawled up the steps gasping ‘Pepsi Maaaaaaax!’All thoughts of ‘Tom Cruise Belly Man’ forgotten I stuffed down three of Dulcie’s jam drop biscuits as well!