The Call, the Cave, Arcadia, the Coupon and the Card Game.

The night before last my phone rang twice in the middle of the night! The first time I heard it. It was an unknown number and it stopped ringing before I could answer it. My parents are ex-directory and their number always comes up as ‘unknown’. I was a little dazed and wondered if I should try and ring them back but somehow thought it might wake them. It was in fact only 4.00pm but this time difference takes some getting used to. It wasn't them as it turned out and it still remains a mystery as to who it was that rang. The other phone call I didn't hear but noticed it in the morning. My phone had kept the number. It was a Penrith (UK) number though I did not recognise it. Later in the day I rang the number and discovered it was Arnold Clark the garage where I bought my car in the UK. They were having a weekend event and wanted to invite me to it.

“Well, actually I am in Australia,” I said.

“So I take it you won’t be attending?” said the man from Arnold Clark.

“I won’t,” I said, “ and it might be a good idea to take me off your computer because I am not intending to be back in the UK for quite some time.”

“Ok,” said the man from Arnold Clark and I hung up.

Last night I was in a deep sleep and was well into a lovely dream when I was shaken awake by Will saying;

“Your phone! Your phone!”

It was 4.00am. I groggily answered it trying to sound as alert as possible.

“Hello, Mr Allen? This is Arnold Clark's here in Penrith, we are having.....”

“Yes, I know,” I interrupted, “ I spoke to someone about it yesterday and told them that I am actually in Australia now and I don’t know if you realise but it is the middle of the night here, and I did ask to have my name removed from your computer system.”

I could hear the fellow apologising profusely as I hung up. I could not get back to sleep after that for ages and then the magpies started to sing. The magpies at home make a tuneless rasping, chattering sound but the magpies here carol beautifully... but loudly. I did eventually drop off but it was 9.30 am when I eventually got up! In the UK that would have been early if I was not working but here in Australia that is very late indeed for me! (I can’t explain it...I don’t even understand myself what is happening to me!)

After breakfast it was straight to the man-cave for me for some more painting. Will helpfully read his book; he found the paint fumes distressing.

After lunch we headed to ’Paradise’ or Ikea as some people call it. It was huge! They are big in the UK but this one was a MEGA- Store. Like the houses here it was built on pillars and all the parking was underneath...in the shade. It could have been any Ikea store in the world. The layout is exactly the same.

Will joined the Ikea family, eventually, after some difficulty in getting his temporary Ikea Family Card to print out.

We wandered in wonderment the through the Aladdin’s ‘maze’ coveting everything and being only able to afford very little.

We needed accoutrements for our man-cave and picked up bedding, some clothes rails, and a throw. We had wanted to buy some rugs but had a great idea as we were wandering round of an excellent alternative.

We must have looked shifty at the self service checkout because the burly security guard wanted to check our receipt against the items in our trolley.

We were on our way back to the car when we spotted hot dogs for $1 each! You just can’t go past that can you?....Next time we will however, because I doubt there was very little actual meat in the hot dog and probably more recycled plastic bottles. The bread if fed to a duck would have sunk it!

Back at Acacia Ridge with our booty, Will settled down comfortably into the reclining chair.

“Ahem,” I said, “Are we going to the tip?”

He sighed and got up.

Spookily, a new recycling depot had opened this very day at Willawong, just down the road, so we did not have to go far. We loaded the car with unwanted man-cave clutter and headed into Fire Ant Territory!

We drove onto the weigh bridge.

“What you got buddy?” said the tip chap.

Will reeled off the items.

“Oh, you got metal, Buddy? You got a voucher.”

We did.

“Thanks Buddy!” It was beginning to grate!

Don’t ask me why but Dulcie has a pamphlet with tip coupons in it that saves us having to pay to dump rubbish. It’s just the way it is here in Upside Down Land.

We dumped the old metal filing cabinet in the new recycling depot and had been directed to take all the rest to Depot 2. We followed the signs to Depot 2 and drove into a huge hangar-like building. Have you ever seen a car mechanic’s workshop where they have that inspection pit that they can climb into to work on the underside of cars? Well, this place was like a giant one of those. I felt like a hobbit! Down the middle of this huge building was a concrete trench about 10 meters wide. You just reversed your car or trailer up to it and chucked your rubbish in.

The smell was awful! I couldn't get out quick enough and when we did I hung out of Roxy’s window like a crazy dog breathing in the beautiful fresh exhaust fumy air of Willawong.

Back home I finished off the last of the painting under the house as Will settled into the reclining chair.

He is out for a meal tonight with his new workmates...that’s why we have not gone up to Frogknot this weekend.

Dulcie and I had fish and chips for tea...with no salad or vegetables...I know!...sometimes we’re just crazy like that.

“Shall we have a game of Euchre?” She said after tea.

She normally is in bed soon after tea but I know she was thinking about me sat here on my own with Will out for the evening.

We had two games. I won the first, just and she massacred me in the second! It was great fun.

“Next week,” she said before she went to bed, “when Bill is at work, I’ll teach you how to play ‘Knock Poker!”

Yikes! Did I feel butterflies or was it my bowels loosening?