'Dances with Mice' and 'Dulcie's Anatomy'

(It's like 'Dances with Wolves' only shorter)Actually I haven't even danced with a mouse......I choose that title because like Kevin Costner, in that film, I am left 'holding the fort' alone.I know there are mice about.....Will has seen one, whereas I have only seen blurry sudden movements out of the corner of my eye, so quick that when my eyes actually look, there is nothing there.It's some tough mouse! It is already munching it's way through it's second bowl of 'Ratsak' poison."Kills Rats and Mice" says the label......er........no, it doesn't actually......it is party food for this mouse!Everyday the 'Indian's' arrive......and when I say 'Indian's', I mean the tiler, Dave. He is from N.S.W (New South Wales). He has a very dry sense of humour. I feel like I am living in an episode of 'Shameless' or 'Gordon Ramsay's Bathroom Nightmare's' such is the wave of profanity that washes over me everyday.Dave is a good tiler, he works hard and I just keep out of the way behind my barricade and let him get on with it but sometimes he calls me out to moan about the workmanship of those who have gone before and I just shrug my shoulders and say 'oh dear' in the right places and then scuttle back into my mouse infested quarters.Yesterday Mal, the plumber turned up. Mal swears  more than Dave....why use 1 swear word when you can use a dozen? Mal wanted to fit a waste pipe but it did not suit Dave. Dave is a man on a mission and he didn't want anyone going on his newly laid concrete floor."Oh, and when you fit the toilet down here can you sillicone it rather than bolt it down?" he asked Mal. "You do know how to sillicone or are you too old?" He added.I ducked below the parapet."You're from New South Wales ain't you? " He said it as if he had found something nasty under his shoe......."Could you flatten the floor a bit for the toilet to sit on?" asked Mal.Dave couldn't and wouldn't.......with the shower room not having a shower screen all the floor had to slope to the plug hole. Mal went off....to come back tomorrow.I peeped over the parapet."These Queensland plumbers don't know how to use sillicone," bemoaned Dave, "they still bolt them down but if you bolt this I am not responsible if it is no longer waterproof. Sillicone is tough, you could sillicone a fat bitch to a jumbo jet and she wouldn't fall off!"I tittered, than added a shrug, decided to leave out the usual 'oh dear' and retreated back to the mouse hole.Let's switch channel.....On the other channel is 'Dulcie's Anatomy'.....(I am not going to actually mention any of her anatomy so you can relax and read on.)'Dulcie's Anatomy is the on-going saga of everyday life in Rehab.When I arrived in Room J it was like Piccadilly Circus! Some one new had just arrived in Maureen's/Mary's old bed......I looked for the scrawled name card above the bed......"Stavroula Kapeleris"..........I sense she is Greek.There was a whole host of people fussing about trying to locate her hearing aids.....Lillian was just rolling her eyes in the corner, Dulcie was lying like Cleopatra on her bed letting it all wash over her and Henrietta was not paying any attention and just searching  in her bag.Finally, most of the people left leaving Stavroula's two sons....they were like 'Little and Large'......'Little' was in charge and was helping her unpack a large suitcase while 'Large' just sat in a chair.....the reason he is no doubt 'Large'.We went out to the dining hall for lunch and Lillian joined us. When we got back 'Little' was going through the menu, translating all the options for his mother....he did that for nearly an hour....and you can guess what 'Large' was doing.Henrietta was still searching in her bag."Have you lost something?" I asked."Not lost,..........mislaid" she said, sounding again like Mrs Doubtfire.I left her to find it. About 10 minutes later we heard a surprised "Oh" and turned to fine Henrietta holding up a large brush."Found it," she said.How could she misplace something as large as that in a tiny handbag? I suspected she just chose it to end the charade!(I shall look towards the camera with a quizzical look and hold it until the credits start to roll at the end of another episode of 'Dulcie's Anatomy'.)