Downhill all the way.

I arrived at Manchester Airport at about 10.30 am on the 18th.Dropping off 'OBO' the hire car went without a hitch after some stress when I filled it up with petrol in Heywood but the petrol gauge stayed stuck at 3/4 full. Luckily, on the drive from Heywood to the airport the gauge slowly moved to the 'full' position.Check-in was fine and there was not a huge queue. The Asian woman in front of me was over the limit in her luggage and hand baggage. She got short shrift from the Emirates check-in girl."There are 600 people on this flight. It is a full flight, we cannot make exceptions. You will have to remove something from your bags or pay £80."I wished I had not heard there were 600 people on this flight. My bag was heavy and this Asian woman had a heavier bag...How do these packed metal tubes stay in the air? It did not bear thinking about.A male Emirates clerk called me forward. My bag was 26kg and 3 of that was Vimto!He did not ask me the usual questions of 'did I pack myself?', 'had anyone given me anything to put in my bag?, 'was I carrying any prohibited items?'.Was it lax or lucky? Vimto might be prohibited for all I know.He did not even weigh my hand luggage. I knew it was slightly more than the allowed 7 kg but I got away with it.There was a big queue at Security. I was ready though....my laptop was half charged.....It had strangely stopped charging that morning and I thought the charging pack was broken....but it started working again just before I left Bolton.They did not seem to be asking people to switch on their laptops though. When it was my turn I emptied my pockets, removed my belt and loaded the tray with everything.I stepped through the metal detector.....Beep!I could not believe it. A security guard beckoned me forward."Anything in your pockets?""No," I said, just as I put my hand on my mobile phone in my back pocket.What an idiot!I had to go into the full body scanner. I wondered if this was the one that can see through your clothes. The guard did not seem impressed.He ushered me out and proceeded to frisk me....all over. I thought...."I'd quite like this job."He frisked me twice and then produced a hand held metal detector and ran it all over me.It beeped at my waist."It's my button." I said helpfully."I know," he grunted."Sit down."I sat.I had to lift my legs while he checked my feet with his metal detector."Ok," he said. He seemed disappointed.I was free to go.In the departure lounge I had something to eat sat underneath a big TV screen showing SKY news...the pictures of the plane crash in Ukraine were hard to ignore.I went  to departure gate 12 early and sat down to wait.A plane to Prague was leaving from Gate 10. They gave the final call. It seemed a few passengers were still missing. A flight attendant appeared and looked down the corridor. She picked up a phone."I can't see anyone," she said into it. "You best go ahead."An Asian guy wandered up."Prague?" asked the attendant. He nodded."Hurry up," said the attendant, " they are just taking your bags off the plane."He looked alarmed and called to two Asian women following behind."Chill!" said one of them, unfazed. They disappeared into the gate.A few moments later the flight attendant reappeared and closed the gate and walked away.Five minutes later a young woman rushed up. She looked around anxiously and asked someone nearby where Gate 1o was. They indicated the door. She tried it but it was locked. She picked up the phone but no one answered.She rushed up to an airport worker in his hi-vis vest. He took her to the people working behind the desk at Gate 12.I could see the Prague plane heading out towards the runway.The woman began to cry. She was told to take a seat and that someone would be along shortly. She slumped down and sobbed.She was till sat there sobbing and crying as gate 12 opened and I made my way onto the plane.It was an A380, one of those huge double decker planes. I was sat right at the back of the lower deck in 85K....a window seat.The plane filled but no one came and sat next to me.A large lady came along.......'Oh no!' I thought, but she was in the row behind me. She asked the stewardess for a seat belt extender!

Look how much seatbelt I had left over!

I was beginning to think I would have the row to myself when a young couple appeared and took the two seats beside me.I sneaked a look at their ticket...they were going to Johannesburg.....via Dubai?....it seemed the long way round to me.

Dwarfed by the monster machine                                        I was sat high up on the tail!

Eventually we set off on time. The large woman behind was more worried than me as we took off. She gasped and moaned at every jolt and movement and breathed a sigh of relief when we were above the clouds.

Leaving Manchester.

Goodbye England.........................Hello Holland.

I watched 'Parkland', 'Jack Ryan-Shadow Recruit' and 'Alan Partridge - Alpha Papa'.

The sun set over Turkey and I could not help but think of those poor people the day before who had not reached their destination.

Kuwait.........................Dubai Airport

We arrived at Dubai at 12.30 am local time. It was 39 degrees. I could not help but be relieved and thankful to have landed safely.I made sure I removed everything from my pockets at the security check but just as my bag disappeared into the x ray machine remembered it had a bottle of Pepsi Max in it.I was expecting them to ask me to remove it but nothing happened. I didn't know whether to be pleased or concerned.

Dubai Airport.

I had two hours in Dubai but the time passed quickly and soon I was sat in 45A, another window seat on the plane to Brisbane.A pretty young Asian woman came and sat next to me."I can't believe I got a seat!" she said.It turned out she was an Emirates flight attendant and she was going home to Singapore for a short break. She had used to work for Qatar Airlines but had 'escaped'. It seemed they were very 'controlling' and liked to interfere in your personal life. I don't know whether she paid for her seat but she said she had waited for 4 hours to see if she could get on the flight. She said they were never allowed to travel in Business class. She was just delighted to be going home. She had been told she was sat between 2 frequent flyers."I am only a 'Blue' member," I said, "I used to be Silver but I used my Skywards miles to upgrade.""I am only Blue too," she said. The man sat on her other side was Gold. He was going home to Singapore too.I watched 'The Lego Movie' and 'Inside Llweyn Davies' and I won a 'Million' on the 'Who wants to be a Millionaire' Game!

Dawn broke before we flew over India. There was a lot of turbulence and twice the cabin crew were ordered to take their seats.

Kuala Lumpur...................Kuala Lumpur Airport

We arrived at Singapore at 2.00 pm local time. It was 28 degrees and had been raining.

Singapore..........................Changi Airport

I had an hour and 15 minutes in Singapore before sitting back in 45A.

Leaving Singapore................................Is this the Chastine Maersk?

For the last leg of the flight I was sat next to an Indian couple, their surname was Singh. He wore an orange turban and sat next to me. I don't know if Indians eat pies....but he looked like he did. He was such a wriggler and immediately took control of the arm rest between us. He was a bit of a nightmare and acted like an excited child. Every time I looked out of the window he would lean over behind me and look out to. I was taking a picture at one moment and his phone appeared alongside my head.....taking a picture too. His legs kept straying over to my side and twice his head flopped onto my shoulder as he slept. Both times his wife grabbed his head and pulled him back upright.

The irritating Mr Singh sleeps on his wife's shoulder.

I watched 'A Winter's Tale' and 'The Armstrong Lie'.The sun set for the second time over Java and Bali.

Approaching Brisbane, we had to complete landing cards. I ticked 'yes' on the 'Are you carrying herbs, nuts seeds, spices question.' It felt strange ticking the box for 'Australian Resident returning'.Mr Singh asked if I would help them complete their cards. His wife was going to Australia on a student visa and he was going as her partner. He asked what he should put where it asked for your address in Australia."Put the address where you are staying," I said."We don't have a home,' he said."But where are you staying?' I asked."With a friend," he said."Well put their address." I said."But we are only there for a night," he said......I had lost patience."I think you should just ask at immigration when you get there," I said.We finally arrived at Brisbane at 12.50 am on the 20th July. It was 8 degrees outside."What are you declaring?" Asked the woman at Immigration."I have some paella spices," I said."What?" She asked."Paella spices.""What is that?""It is spices that you add when you are making paella," I said."Ok, that's fine."  I still don't think she knew what I was talking about. She stamped my card and waved me on.I passed through passport control easily and  didn't have to wait long for my suitcase to come along the conveyor belt.I handed my landing card in and walked out into the arrival hall to find Will waiting for me.