Hey up! It's Elaine!

It's Thursday here already.......the week has gone quick! It's hard to keep pace of time. Dulcie thought it was Friday yesterday.Will has finished work for the week so it is the start of his weekend.We had a lazy morning really.....well, I did clean the bathroom and the kitchen but some of us had a chance to take it easy.Will made a lovely pasta lunch with some left over 'chook' and a load of things picked from the garden and we ate it listening to the Green Tree Frog stuck in someone's down spout over the road."What shall we do today?" asked Will, meaning when 'respite' came at 2.00 pm."I don't know," I said but we eventually decided on continuing the Vimto hunt.At 1.00pm a car pulled up but parked out side next door. I didn't think anything of it."Someone's coming Nick," said Dulcie.A small round lady with close cropped grey hair, possibly a wrestler or a rugby playing lesbian, appeared at the door." Hello!" She waddled in.'Who are you and why are you here?' I was wondering but didn't say it out loud.......she gave no clues from here appearance."I'm Elaine." There was the whiff of 'smoker' about her."Are you here for respite?" I asked."I am and that's a Pommie accent! Where are you from?" She asked"Near Manchester," I said for ease.....everyone has heard of it."I'm from Nottingham.""Oh, Andrea, who usually comes today is from Nottingham too." I said....thinking there must be a big recruitment drive for Blue Care in the Nottingham area."She must be on holiday," said Elaine. She settled into Dulcie's orthopaedic chair at the table.I had to say it......."Well, we usually have respite from  2.00 until 4.00 pm on a Thursday," I said."I know........I'm early. That's ok," said Elaine. Who was I to argue?........ and besides she could probably 'bodyslam' me to the kitchen floor.....If she did, at least I knew it was clean."How long you been 'ere?" She went on."Well, actually it is exactly one year today!" I said."Ay! Come here!" she cried held out her hand, I took it with mine and she crushed it...." Congratulations!""How long have you been here?" I asked."Since 1963," she said."Oh, I was one then!" I said............. and then wondered if I should have mentioned it."Are you a hippy?" She asked Will. He was wearing the very bright and colourful t-shirt I brought him back from the U.K."What's it like over there now?" She asked."What do you mean? Like the weather?" I asked."I've 'eard it's bad. Loads of towels....." I think she was referring to people of Middle Eastern origin."Yes, it is very cosmopolitan these days," I said like Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet) trying to remain PC."There are lot's of Poles too and Germans and .........oh........where is it?......""Romanians?" I offered."Aye, Romanians! I were speaking to my uncle and he said they were killing and eating all the swans! There's none left!"I was disturbed to hear this news and was surprised that I had heard nothing of it on 9News and Tracy Grimshaw of 'A Current Affair' had said nothing. At least her Majesty still had her Scottish homes and the prospect of another Great Grandchild to take her mind off this evil destruction of her birds.It was a conversation killer.....I think we were both picturing the horror of rampaging Romanians at loose in the parks of Great Britain, killing and eating swans.Elaine broke the silence."Has she got Dementia?" she hissed."No, she's just a bit forgetful." I said trying to be discrete."My husband is in palliative care.".........bang went the wrestling lesbian theory!......well, at least the lesbian part."He's got dementia..." she went on."Oh," I said."......and lymphoma......""Oh," I said."They won't let me look after him because I'm too busy working!""Oh?" I said."Would you like a tea or coffee, Elaine" asked Will."I'll have a coffee, white with two sugars. Ta."She was very comfortable in Dulcie's chair, leaning back and stretching out her legs under the table."Have you been to Scotland?""Oh, yes we did some touring around Scotland when we were there," I said."I used to live in Glasgow for two years," said Will."I've heard it's dirty. Is it dirty? I went to Dundee, Inverness, that were nice, the island of Skye, the loch.......(I wondered which one)......and Blackpool. Oh, I really liked Blackpool!"I wasn't surprised."They had one of them things that burned down in that other place.""A pier?""Aye, I think it began with a 'B'.""Bournemouth?" I said."No, Brighton." She said.It was actually Eastbourne."Ooh, it were bloody hot yesterday weren't it? Not so bad today though."I was beginning to wonder if we would ever get away...."Well, shall we make a move?" I asked Will."So you are here until.......?" asked Will."3!" said Elaine.We went downstairs."Flippin' heck! This is ridiculous! She comes early and then expects us to be back at 3!" I was grumbling in the Man-Cave.We heard Elaine shout from upstairs. I went back out......she was on the back verandah."What time are you usually back? 4? " She asked."Yes," I said, "Respite is usually 2 until 4.""Well, stay out till 4.....have a bit of extra time," she said.I went back in to the Man-Cave."Do you think she heard us?" I asked worried.We got back just after 3 anyway........we didn't want to leave Dulcie with her for longer than was necessary.