The Annual Epistle.

Frogknotians

Chapter 14Verse 1;  And it came to pass that in those days they didst dwell in the Underworld in both the city and the wilderness and it was good. The great star didst continue to shine upon them through the day, but not the night and it seemeth not that there might be a flood. And the creatures and the beasts that walketh and crawleth therein across the Underworld were strange unto Nick and yet some didst flocketh upon him and drank succour from his body which did make him itch and gnash his teeth. And he raised up his eyes unto the Heavens and beheld the moon, but it was not the likeness of a man.....but of a rabbit! And Nick didst ponder upon these things.Verse 2;And in the second month they didst receive an epistle from the Underworld High Commission and they spake saying “O.K. Thou mayest remain in the Underworld but thou must leave the Underworld for three days and four nights and then once more return unto us again.” And Nick spake saying “Eh?”And it came to pass that they didst follow the Commandment of the Underworld High Commission and didst leave the Underworld and didst travel unto Paradise, yea even unto Fiji. There they dwelt for three days and four nights beside the sea and it was more than good.And it came to pass that whilst in Paradise, as Nick didst bathe in the waters, he didst lose his picture making tool and it was not good. And he didst search beneath the waters for his tool but couldst not find it. And the waters didst offer up a shell unto him and he heard a voice saying “Sorry thou cannot find thine tool but lo, accept this shell as a token of our thanks.” And Nick didst look upon the shell and it was beautiful but he didst cast it back into the waters and cried “I do not want thy shell. I want my tool back!” and he look-ed down and there at his feet was his tool....and it was a miracle!And they didst return back unto the Underworld and the Underworld High Commission spake saying “Thou canst now work.”Nick wept. Verse 3;And it came to pass that in the third month, Phoebe, the daughter of Will didst visit with them and she didst rise very early every morn, yea, even before the great star itself, to commune with the ‘little angels’ in the Garden of Dulcie and it was not a blessing but more a curse. And later in the third month, whilst they were in the wilderness, the Mother of Will, who is four score years and eleven, didst fall and break her leg. They returned unto the city and didst visit with her. And it came to pass that she didst remain with the Healers for two months before they finally spake saying “Pick up thy hip, and walk!”And it came to pass that Nick didst find employment as a ‘Samaritan’ for the Mother of Will and the Underworld High Commission didst pay him a pension for his toil and it was very small but Nick didst not have to suffer the little children to come unto him and that was good.Verse 4;And in the seventh month Nick didst journey unto Eden to visit with his Mother and Father, Brethren and Sistren but Will didst remain in the Underworld to care for his Mother. And in Eden Nick didst feast and cavort and walk amongst the hills with friends and family and it was good.And lo, James, the brother of Nick didst wed Jo and there was a great feasting where they didst kill two fatt-ed hogs and there was singing and dancing into the night. And it was very good.And it came to pass that the day before Nick was to journey back unto the Underworld he didst hear news of a donkey accident in Ukraine and it was not good. As Nick mounted his own donkey he was sore afraid but he didst pray unto the Lord and make it safely back unto the Underworld and didst care for the Mother of Will once more and Will didst return unto his labour and continue to suffer the little children to come unto him.Verse5;And in the eighth month Joshua and Lewis, two of the sons of Nick didst make new homes in different metropolises, Joshua unto London and Lewis unto Edinburgh and they were good. And Nathan, the other son of Nick, spake unto the leaders of his labour saying “Stuffeth thy job.” And Nick spake to Nathan, saying “Come unto the Underworld!” for then, Nick Hopeth, the creatures and beasts therein wouldst have more to find succour upon than just him! And it was a good plan.Verse 6;And in the eleventh month God sent a terrible storm upon them and the wind didst howl and it didst hail and the rain didst fall. And it rained and howled and hailed for forty minutes and forty seconds and they were sore afraid. But the storm it did passover and they crept out of their stable and look-ed for a rainbow as a sign that God wouldst never send such a storm again....but there wasn’t one. And Nick spake saying “Bugger!”Verse 7;And at the ending of the year they didst receive an epistle from those that dwelt in their stable in Eden saying “We do not want thy stable anymore,” and Nick look-ed up to the Heavens and didst roll his eyes and gnash his teeth. And Nick didst call upon his brother, Rod and spake saying “Canst thou be the Innkeeper and findeth a shepherd for my stable?” And Rod spake saying “Yea.”Thanks be to Rod.And they didst look to the south where they wouldst journey, yea even unto Melbourne, to welcome in the New Year and so it is written and so it shall come to pass.Here endeth the lesson.