The Foot Elf and beyond.

Dulcie was up early this morning as we were expecting the podiatrist. The last time she came she was knocking on the door while we were still in bed.It was a dark dull morning like the ones you get in Manchester. I heard Dulcie moving around upstairs and expected to find her at the table but when I went in she was not there. She was sat in her reclining chair like Miss Haversham in Great Expectations."Do you want to see a swollen face?""Oh no," I said.Dr Hew has said that he thinks that she has an intolerance to something which builds up in her body until it reaches a level to which her body reacts."I think it was that 'green stuff'." Will had made some pesto two days ago from the abundance of basil we have in the garden."No, we had chicken sausages last night remember."We had breakfast and had completely forgotten about the imminent arrival."Hello-a?" It was a voice at the door.I went to open it.There was a small Asian lady standing at the door, bent with her hands on her knees, as if greeting a bounding dog."Hello-a, I am Lisssssssa the podiatrissssssssst!" she said, grinning alarmingly. It was not the girl who normally comes.I couldn't help but look down on her as I let her in."Hello-a" she said to Dulcie."Who's that?"  said Dulcie rather too loudly as I helped her up from her chair at the table."Lisssssssa the podiatrisssssssst," I said."I think we have met before," said Lisssssssa.We'd never seen her in our lives.She tended Dulcie wrapped in a plastic apron crouched at her feet. She was not as thorough as the girl we are used to but was far more patronising.Rhiona arrived for 'respite'."Is this the doctor?" She asked."No, I'm Lisssssssa the podiatrisssssssst."Lisa and I left at the same time. I went to Indooroopilly, Heaven knows where Lisa went.I had broken the last of Will's Bodum double walled thermo glasses that morning over enthusiastically scrubbing tea stains off it.Indooroopilly shopping centre is quite posh. I felt like an 'Eastender' walking around Harrods.I went straight to Myer department store where we first got the Bodum glasses. I couldn't find them anywhere so had to ask a smartly dressed lady with a badge on her jacket."Excuse me, could you tell me where the Bodum glasses are?""Oh, I work for Wedgewood and Royal Doulton," she said condescendingly, "but I will show you they way."She lead me through the maze of perfectly displayed crystal glassware to the Bodum glass display."Here they are," she gestured in their general direction."Thank you," I said, tempted to push her backwards into a pyramid of teapots.I power walked every level of the shopping centre."Go into the food court," croaked 'Elaine.'"Shut up!" said another voice that is getting stronger everyday.'Elaine' is getting worried. On the scales this morning I am just hovering above 91 kgs. Today marks one week of our battle and I reckon losing almost 2 kgs is a good start. I have walked for at least an hour everyday. I have not had a biscuit since the day I made them nor any other between meal snacks and only had a couple of cordial drinks all week.I am so hungry and dream of burgers......and KFC..........and Chinese food........pies and............and cakes........."Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha!"