Happy Christmas!

Here is this years epistle....Frogknotians.Chapter 15.Verse 1;And it came to pass that they didst greet the New Year in Melbourne as the heavens above the city were filled with bright and colourful lights which spake saying “Bang!” and “Crackle”. And it was good. Returning whence they had come they didst continue to dwell in the House of Dulcie, the mother of Will. And it came to pass that the Lord sent a hailstorm and the stones didst beat and rattle about the house and lo, some were as big as figs, and it was not good. And then Nick didst feel unwell and sought out a healer for succour and the healer didst poke and prod Nick and didst send him unto another healer blessed with the sight to see into one’s very soul and he spake saying “Oh dear, thou hast a lump on thy lung. We must seek out if it is evil. ”Verse 2;And in the second month Nick was sent unto yet another healer who didst root about inside him in search of evil and he spake saying “Behold, I have good news, we didst not find evil therein but we must see thy lump after the passing of three score days and nights. That is my first commandment.” And so it came to pass.(And after the passing of three score days and nights the healer spake again saying “Now we must see thy lump after nine score days. That is my second commandment.”)And in the third month they didst lie down (in a tent) in brown pastures and didst walk by the still waters of Lake Cootharaba and in the fourth month didst travel unto the West, yea, even unto Cunnamulla and then unto the South unto Canberra to visit with Phoebe, the daughter of Will.And it also came to pass that in those days Will didst discover that the Underworld High Commission had sinned against Nick and owed him a debt but when they spake unto the Underworld High Commission they replied saying “thou shouldst have spoken unto us about this sooner after receiving our many epistles. It is too late. That is the Law.” But Nick spake up saying “What epistles?” And it came to pass that the Underworld High Commission had sent the epistles unto the Wilderness and not unto the House of Dulcie and lo, after a tribunal with a wise man the Underworld High Commission didst pay their debt unto Nick and it was in the sixth month, and it was very good. Verse 3;And in the seventh month, whilst Will and Nick were wandering in the wilderness, Dulcie, the mother of Will, who was four score years and twelve didst fall again and though she didst not receive great harm didst become weaker thereafter and in the eighth month, with her family about her, she didst ascend unto Heaven and now sit-eth at the right hand of God in their euchre games with Jesus and the Holy Ghost. And of the body of Dulcie they didst scatter her ashes upon the waters of the Yabba, as so too were the ashes of the Father of Will in years gone by. She shall be greatly missed.Verse 4;And it came to pass that in the ninth month they didst return unto Eden but in great secrecy for there was to be a great feast for the Mother of Nick who was four score years and none. And at the feast they didst reveal themselves unto her. Nick’s Mother wept…for the prodigal son had returned…but it was in joy and not sorrow and Nick didst eat the fatt-ed duck. And they didst thereafter journey for fourteen days about the Land of Up Over and didst visit with the sons of Nick before returning unto the Underworld once more.Verse 5;And in the eleventh month Nick didst return unto the healer and he spake saying “thy lump has grown but behold, I bring good news, it is not evil but I also bring tidings of not great joy, and it must be cut out in the New Year and cast aside like thorns. And that is my third commandment.” And Nick was sore afraid.And it came to pass that in those final days of the year they didst prepare to leave behind the city forever and dwell only in the wilderness, yea even in the House of Will that was made of straw and mud, not unlike a stable. Will didst rejoice but Nick didst fear the creatures and the beasts that walked and crawled and slithered upon the land thereabouts and he didst vow not to let them come in one by one never mind two by two even if there was a flood.And there was a flood and yet it was not in the Underworld but in Eden, and it was a great flood, but the family of Nick were safe from the waters which was good as they had no doves or ravens to send out.And so it is written and so it came to pass.Here endeth the lesson.