The Date with a Surgeon.

So.....the time had come again to head to the Princess Alexandra.We have been in Brisbane for a few days now. We did some work for Will's sister Wendi on Wednesday up at the University and have been clearing up the last few things from Dulcie's house but the real reason we were here was for my date with the Surgeon.I headed in just after lunch and followed my usual path, passing by the Blue lifts and up the Orange lifts to 2F.The girl on Reception was lovely but all went a bit pear shaped when she asked me if I was still living at Celtis St. I told her no and gave her the Glen Aplin address but then said but we have no postal address....so she put that we were still at Celtis St until we get a post box number sorted. It will be OK as we will get Joanne next door to keep an eye on the mail.The waiting room was reasonably empty, an elderly lady whose hair was growing back after chemo, a mother with a small child who seemed obsessed with grabbing at her grandma's breasts and crying 'Boobies, boobies!' A one legged man in a wheelchair wheeling about with his man bag hooked over the big toe of his remaining leg checking out which of the women's magazines he had already read, a teenage son and his middle aged mother who droned on and on listing a litany of hospital and doctors visits, x- rays and scan appointments as if she was being interviewed for a very boring programme called 'My Ponderous Medical History .'.....and me.The appointment was at 1.00 pm. I think I was called about 1.30 ish. It was Ian. He looked Japanese but had an Aussie accent. He wasn't a Surgeon....he was on the Clinical Team. I felt a bit short changed....I was expecting a Surgeon.Ian reviewed my Ponderous Medical History and showed me the images from my PET scan and I got the feeling he was suggesting that it had not yet been decided whether to remove my 'lump' or keep on monitoring it.'Excuse me!' I thought. I have psyched myself up for the knife....but not the 'Gamma' one....so we are not going to be monitoring it any more."Yes, Dr Fanning was wondering that but he felt that if we left it another 6 months and something went wrong we might be wondering why we didn't take it out in the first place. He felt that as it was so big that the best option was to get it taken out and I will go along with that." I said, trying to head him off at the pass."Yes, well, I think he is right but we will have to see what my Boss says," said Ian.He hooked me up to a machine to check my blood oxygen levels and blood pressure. He asked about my present condition."Any weight loss?""Unfortunately not." I said."Right, well I will just go and have a word with my Boss," and he left me in the tiny consulting room.Where was his Boss? I imagined he was lying in a jacuzzi being fed grapes by a busty Matron....well I had nothing else to do. It was just me and the blood pressure machine.It was a good looking machine. It had wheels and everything' It could have almost got a part in Star Wars. It had a label which said 'This machine will not link result to online records until after Nov 2015. Until that time all results should be imputed manually.'We waited........The computer went to sleep....we waited a bit longer but we didn't speak...then suddenly the blood pressure machine started beeping and an orange light was flashing on the top. 'There are 30 minutes or less battery power remaining' flashed the screen. Was it going to keep on beeping? It eventually stopped.We were silent again. I was thinking Ian had joined his Boss in the Jacuzzi and was thinking that I had now waited longer inside the consulting room than out of it. The machine beeped again....I wondered if I should switch it off but a sign said 'Do Not Switch Off'...so I didn't.I heard voices outside the door but couldn't make out what they were saying...then heard 'Right. Ok,'.....and the door opened and in walked another man with Ian following behind. The new man introduced himself but I didn't hear what he said because I was thinking 'Nice trunks!'.....no actually that did not happen, he wasn't actually wearing trunks but it would have been so much better if he was ....No. I did miss his name because I think I was thinking...'Oh, you look a bit Japanese too'.....but only a bit.This was 'The Surgeon'....well, one of three that work in the Thoracic Department. He had a very firm handshake....I liked that.So basically, because I don't want to bore you and well, why hang around for longer than necessary when there are no trunks involved, ......he said that the operation was a goer.Surgeons don't beat about the bush and he said that we needed to get 'lumpy' out and see what it is....it will be general anaesthetic, I will be on my side, it will be keyhole surgery  and they will make a 4 cm cut to get the 'thing' out and a few other cuts for the cameras. I will probably be in hospital for 3 days. They need to collapse my lung and will staple off a section, "We use titanium staples". They will then put in drain to help the lung reinflate and monitor for air and blood leakage. Blood leakage is not so bad but air leakage is a bit tricky. It it is 'Cancer'.....yes, he said the 'C' word, they will have to go back in and remove more lung and some glands......there is another option where they take a slice of the 'lump' and analyse it while you are on the table and then take the more drastic action if it appears cancerous.....except that method is not particularly accurate and some people have had more lung and glands removed as it appeared cancerous and then it was found to have been benign. I said. "No, take the whole thing and then we will go back in later if we have to."There is not a long waiting list and I should be seen within the month."Er,.....but," I stuttered, " my son is visiting from the 3rd to the 6th of February and I would really rather not be in hospital then if that is not too cheeky of me.?""He's coming for all that way for 3 days?!" he asked incredulously.I explained that he was really going to New Zealand for a wedding and was making a flying visit on his way back."That's fine. if you get a phone call and it doesn't suit just say "I can't' and we will reschedule.""Any other questions?"I did almost ask if while they were in there could they remove my cardiophrenic fat pad as well.....but chickened out."No," I said.He shook my hand firmly again and left Ian to fill in the forms.(Hmmm, that wasn't really the quick version after all....that is pretty much all of it.....sorry.)"Your machine beeped," I said to Ian.He switched it off ignoring the 'Do Not Switch Off' sign.I signed a form that basically said that I had been told that I might die.....( oh, I did cut that bit out of the Surgeon chat).Ian scribbled down some notes in doctors scrawl and then appeared to get stuck at one section.....he peered at it and I was peering at it upside down......He seemed uncertain what to do.......and then circled something.......it was the word 'obesity'.I think the question was asking are there any other factors to be taken into consideration before the operation......or something like that. 'Obesity?!'.......How very DARE he! I wished I not told him about his 'beeping' machine now."Right, see you in a few weeks," he said holding out his hand. He could never be a Surgeon. His handshake was too limp!I left and headed for the Orange lifts."Are you going down?" It was the elderly lady whose hair was growing back after chemo."Yes, " I said."Oh Good! I hate going in these things on my own."We travelled down together.Walking out I wondered if now that knives, and Surgeons were involved.....surely I will get to use the Blue lifts finally!