Frogknotians.

Chapter 20.

Verse 1;

And at the beginning of the year after there had been very little rain for many months it came to pass that the Heavens opened and the Lord sent forth rain upon the land and what was brown became green once more. And the people and the beasts of the field didst give thanks. But it was not enough and the people didst covet and pray for more, yea even for it to rain for forty days and forty nights but it didst not.

And from the East there came news of the spread of a terrible pestilence. And it was not good.

Verse 2;

And in the third month Nick didst prepare to journey unto Eden to dwell in the bosom of his family for some weeks but the pestilence hadst spread throughout the World and Nick couldst no longer journey safely to visit with his family and hadst to remain in the Underworld.

And a madness didst descend upon the World and the people didst flock unto the markets to gather toilet paper and yea, didst even covet thy neighbour’s toilet paper. And it was stupid.

Verse 3;

And a decree went out, even throughout the World, saying thou shalt cleanse thy hands all the day, cough and sneeze unto thine elbow, leave at least a donkeys length between thyself and thy neighbour but above all, remain in thine own house and not visit with others in their houses. And lo it was as if the World stood still and the people didst wail and gnash their teeth and sometimes bake leavened bread. And many didst toil from home but Nick didst continue to toil in the House of the Word, yea even though the people were forbidden to enter and seek the Word. And it was very quiet and good. But Will couldst no longer tend the baby cheeses and didst remain at home in the Temple of the Moon.

Verse 4;

And so it was for many days until the pestilence didst falter and another decree went out saying thou canst now visit with thy neighbour and look with envy upon their stores of toilet paper but thou must still cough and sneeze unto thine elbow and still be able to pass a donkey sideways between thyself and thy neighbour. And the people didst return unto the House of the Word but couldst not remain therein in large numbers nor couldst they sit down and gaze upon their tablets.

And Will didst return to tend the baby cheeses and as the pestilence didst wane further, the people were released from their shackles and didst flock unto the baby cheeses and didst feast upon them. Will didst toil with the baby cheeses but since the coming of the pestilence the farmer hadst to sell his beasts of the field and the milk now came in unpalatable urns. Will didst not rejoice at the disposal of the vast numbers of unpalatable urns and spake saying “I can no longer tend the baby cheeses” and he picked up his bag and walked.

Verse 5;

And in those days the pestilence didst continue to spread and wane and spread again about the World but in the Underworld the spread was slowed by strict and swift decrees from the Elders and Leaders of Men (and Women and those who identify as neither).

And in the West the Orange King didst twitter greatly while his people didst perish but the people rose up and didst cast down their votes in great numbers to be rid of the Orange King once and for all. The people spake and chose a new King but the Orange King didst not believe that the people didst no longer worship him and didst twitter some more and ignore the will of the people. And it was utterly unbelievable.

Verse 6;

And in the twelfth month there was some light and hope as a cure for the pestilence was being passed out amongst the people. But the World was still not free of its terrible tyranny and many were still imprisoned with their stores of toilet paper in their own houses coughing and sneezing unto their elbows. The people of the World were greatly fed up even though they no longer baked leavened bread.

But the light grows stronger and all this shall surely come to pass and we shall once more be permitted to return unto Eden to visit with family and friends.

Let us give thanks unto the Lord for our families and friends and think and pray for those who have lost loved ones this past year

And so it is written and so it has come to pass.

Here endeth the lesson.