Paradise Ascending.

The phone call I got at 3.00 am telling me I was entitled to a free boiler under the British Government’s new initiative ruined a good night’s sleep. I did drop off again after about 90 minutes and we woke at about 9.00 am. The air conditioning was going all night...well, it has been on non-stop since we arrived...but it did not disturb us.When it came to setting off for breakfast I was a little alarmed by the number of long-legged wasps hovering about outside the door. It was not quite a swarm but pretty close. I envisioned us trapped in the room all day, slowly weakening and slumping to the floor and with barely any strength left to bang on the glass door and call for help...but we bit the bullet and ducked out.“What are you going to do today?” asked our waitress as she came to take our order for breakfast.“Oh, I think we might go for a swim,” I said, “But we don’t want to meet your friend.” I laughed.I thought our waitress was Torika but it turned out to be Lani and she had no clue what I was talking about.Raj the chef came out and introduced himself and said we could look forward to ‘chicken curry’ tonight. He was Indian and quite difficult to understand but it was nice he came to chat to us.“What you have last night? It good?”The starters were poor, the steak was tough, the mashed potato was lumpy and the fruity chicken curry tasted odd.“It was lovely,” we lied.Ada came along and introduced herself too.“Bula!” I suspect she is the manager.Breakfast was good. There was a good choice. We had pancakes with maple syrup.“There are a lot of wasps about,” we said.“Ah, yes,” said Torani/Lanika, “but they will not bite you.”We wandered down to the beach. It was pretty stunning. The tide was nearly in. The water was ultra-marine over the sand and then black where the sea grass was turning turquoise further out just before the reef.We waded in.“It’s warmer than our shower” said Will. It was lovely.I didn’t go past the sand into the sea grass bit...mainly because if Taluni’s friend decided to come I would not be able to see him/her.After a lovely dip we went and lay the sun loungers on the deck beneath a beautiful shady tree and read. There was quite a breeze blowing but it was lovely.At lunchtime we wandered back and showered and then went for lunch.There were some new people there...a mother and daughter, who are dutch.The lunch menu was again great. Such a lot of choice and I was beginning to change my view of this Paradise. It was definitely on the up. Will had a Kahuna Burger and I chose the Fisherman’s Basket. It was huge, 3 pieces of battered fish, calamari rings, prawns and a pile of chips. I couldn’t eat it all and Will had to help me.We went for a walk down the beach after lunch. Not far along the beach to the west is the village where Mary lives.She was standing by the “Welcome to the shop” sign talking to Mrs and Miss Van der Hootenpoopen. She gave us a big friendly wave.“Come to the shop!” she called.We told her we would but we were just going to wander further down the beach to look at the resort further down and then come back.The resort further on was called ‘Crusoe’s Retreat’. There were some lovely rustic looking beach huts but as we wandered through it looked deserted.We are still in summer...where is everyone?Back at the village I removed my sunglasses and hat as Kasim had told us that wearing them in villages was considered rude. Mary was there again.“Here is the shop!”A young mother was sat under a rickety wooden shelter with her baby daughter. We waved.“Bula!”“She like the men, that one,” said Mary, “She not bothered about women, but the men she like.”I thought she was talking about the mother but she meant the baby.We went into the shop. It was just a shed with shelves. It seemed to have everything that you would need...there were even a pair of bike tyres hanging from the roof. It didn’t have Pepsi Max though I noted.“The souvenir shop is next door,” said the shop keeper. She had a big smile and a large gap form a missing tooth.“Do you have any hats?” asked Will.“In the souvenir shop next door.”It was another shed. Will tried the hats but they were all too small.We bought milk, crisps, biscuits and an ice cream.Mary had gone to set up her massage table in the little beach shack further down for Miss Hootenpoopen.We waved goodbye to the mother and smiley daughter and wandered back to Wellesley.We sat in the cool of our room and Will had a snooze. I lay down to read and then I fell asleep too.The next thing I knew it was 6.30 pm.We went back down to the beach. The tide had been out and was just coming back in. The Hootenpoopen’s were sat in the water at the edge watching the sun set. A group of young men from the village were playing rugby, noisily, on the sand.We waded out in the shallow water, watching the sun set and out into the sea grass which turned out not to be as alarming as it had looked earlier. It was just idyllic.We went for dinner after a quick change. The toads were out and the mosquitoes were biting.More people had arrived.Yesterday there was only Will and I, the ‘whale’ woman and her be-hatted wrinkled husband and a young chavvy Australian couple who all hang about together and hog the pool!Today another young couple appeared, the Hootenpoopen’s and a trio of Americans, two of which are half man/half bear and would look at home playing with ZZ Top. We think they are a film crew and from what I heard from eavesdropping over dinner, it appears they are interested in the reef and were talking about diving and sharks. There was also another young couple at dinner tonight. So I guess there are 15 guests at the moment.Toranka was back. I could tell she was a bit shocked by the beardy men by her reaction when they walked in. She was also whispering to Laluna about them behind the bar.The Hootenpoopen’s did not do themselves any favours by causing a mix-up after wanting a starter as a main. Ada had to come and sort it out. Later, Miss Hootenpoopen asked for another menu from Talinka.“You only gave us one.” She said incredulously.Torunki rolled her eyes as she walked by us.Dinner was good. Will and I both had the same thing, the spring roll starter and the chicken curry, recommended earlier by Raj.Back in the room, a new floral arrangement had spookily appeared on the bed and a large spider ran across the floor. Had it been left at the same time? It took some catching...in a glass...but I got it in the end and threw it in the direction of the Hootenpoopen’s room next door. I think that is where it was supposed to be.